1 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:41,999 [SINGlNG "TRUE COLORS"] 2 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,707 MAN 1 : You suck. MAN 2: Oh, my God. 3 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,001 Get those tards off the stage right now. 4 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:11,630 [MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH'S "GOOD VlBRATIONS" PLAYS] 5 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,594 -Let's bail. -Don't we wanna see if we win? 6 00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:19,555 Come on. 7 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,684 I can't wait to graduate and get the hell out of this place. 8 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,727 JUDl: I thought we had some intricate harmonies. 9 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:27,771 Should've done "Mama Said Knock You Out." 10 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:32,067 I'll tell you one thing, when we graduate from college, we're gonna soar like eagles. 11 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,111 Yeah, we just haven't peaked yet. 12 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,739 We're the ones who are going to get the cool jobs, the sexy husbands... 13 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,867 ...the sky-high self-esteem. 14 00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,578 Right. Today's geeks turn out to be tomorrow's winners. 15 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:46,456 So screw college because, ladies, real life starts now. 16 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,750 Yeah, and we are gonna have it all. 17 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,087 Look out, world, here we come. 18 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,847 -Oh! -Ah! 19 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,557 Dang it. 20 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,100 Oh. 21 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,268 Your blouse. 22 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,437 -l have a moist towelette. BECKY: No worries. 23 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,689 I'll just hit T.J. Maxx on the way to work. 24 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,900 The max for the minimum, smart. 25 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,319 I have to go. I'm graduating students today. 26 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:16,862 Oh, great. 27 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,572 Well, hang in there. 28 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,574 Like a cat on a branch. 29 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,076 -See you later. -Bye. 30 00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,453 BECKY: Have a great day. 31 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,458 Graduation day is always very emotional for me. 32 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:34,421 The bond that we share with our canine friends is a special one. 33 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,382 Dogs don't care how much money you make... 34 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:41,929 ...what kind of car you drive, or whose name's on the back of your jeans. 35 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:45,265 They don't care if you cry a lot at commercials... 36 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,935 ...or have a mustache that you haven't waxed. 37 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,812 Dogs don't care if you shame-eat when you're lonely. 38 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,192 And l never, ever feel judged by dogs. 39 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,820 Because dogs love your insides. 40 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,407 And that's why l love dogs. 41 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,500 TED: Come on. 42 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:15,545 -Gayle, l really don't-- -Oh, over here. 43 00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:18,006 Gayle, l just wanted to thank you for everything. 44 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,925 Pepper's already changing my life. 45 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,677 Oh, she's a good dog. 46 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:26,265 Well, ever since l met Pepper and you, I've felt much more confident. 47 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:30,227 Life is just that much easier. 48 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,354 Running errands, taking the train. 49 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,190 I even think that I might be ready to start dating. 50 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:38,819 Something l never would've dreamed of before l met you and Pepper. 51 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,654 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 52 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,365 -Really? -Yeah. 53 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,706 You know, I wouldn't usually ask this of a client, but what the hell. 54 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,918 I have two tickets to the Amy Grant concert on Friday. 55 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,170 Would you like to go with me? 56 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:01,508 Well, you see, the thing is, I only love Amy Grant. 57 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,802 Wow. 58 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,012 May I? 59 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,930 Oh. 60 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,859 I'm sorry. You know what? I've got plans. 61 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,694 Come on, Pepper. 62 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,907 WOMAN: Senator Hartmann's office. 63 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,993 Senator Hartmann's office. 64 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,121 Ma'am? 65 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:36,418 One shot from this baby can blow a man's spine out his back. 66 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,587 [HARTMANN CHUCKLING] 67 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,632 I thought that you could use a whole bottle. 68 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,351 Something else? 69 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,813 Have you had a chance to read my notes on fuel efficiency? 70 00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:00,108 I really think my ideas offer a bold bipartisan-- 71 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:01,443 -Betty. -Becky. 72 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:05,113 Honey, why would a sweet gal like you wanna get involved... 73 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,283 ...in stinky old policy debates? 74 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,831 Well, as much as I love my job as office manager... 75 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,209 ...what l really want is to make a difference. 76 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,253 Did you know that this country is addicted to oil? 77 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,590 Listen, Betty. 78 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,968 You're a really good office manager. 79 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:31,306 But if you wanna be a woman in politics, you're gonna have to get some nuts. 80 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,225 Let me ask you a question. 81 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,644 Are you tough enough to take a loaded shotgun... 82 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,816 ...aim it at some cracker and tell them to "eat me"? 83 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,156 Why don't you just leave the politics to the gals with the loaded guns? 84 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,117 -Yes, ma'am. -Okay. 85 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,663 Thank you. 86 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,374 The wedding's in three months... 87 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,627 ...and we just wanna iron out some kinks before the big day. 88 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:04,339 Oh, but don't get me wrong, William and l are fine. Best friends, really. 89 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:09,344 I think the most important thing in a relationship is honesty. 90 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,680 Well, we have a motto, doc, don't we? 91 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,141 -No secrets. -No secrets. 92 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,147 Honey, l'm home. 93 00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,983 I brought dinner. 94 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,404 Honey? 95 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,948 [SOBBlNG] 96 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,826 Honey. lt should've been me. 97 00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,789 Honey. 98 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,292 Friend. 99 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,043 Soul mate. 100 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,839 Always loyal. 101 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,092 Often hilarious. 102 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:54,139 We dedicate this "make your own pizza" party to you. 103 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:59,728 The first in 12 years you didn't attend. 104 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,399 This is really hard. 105 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,736 Rest in peace, girlfriend. 106 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,404 See you on the other side. 107 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,033 Now let's make some pizza. 108 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,993 JUDl: Mini pepperonis? BECKY: Mm-hm. 109 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,870 GAYLE: No cheese for me. I'm off dairy. 110 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,372 You don't have to go off anything. You look great. 111 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,375 Yeah. l'm not attractive enough for a blind man. 112 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:25,670 We need to discuss if we're still going on our road trip next week. 113 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,005 Maybe it's too soon. 114 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,508 She would want life to go on. 115 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,885 You're right. 116 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,846 Honey loved hearing about our trips. 117 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,433 I remember sitting on that sofa and telling her about every adventure. 118 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,269 Oh, the way she laughed. 119 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,938 Oh. 120 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,732 BECKY: Energy becomes energy. 121 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,734 I think we should go on the trip. 122 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,152 Yay. 123 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,780 Because, you guys, I have a real treat planned for us. 124 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:56,910 We are going to Tempe, Arizona to the Wimmin's Music Festival. 125 00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,871 Please tell me Tracy Chapman is performing. 126 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,957 She and her "Fast Car" will be there. 127 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,124 Oh, my goddess. 128 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,501 [GAYLE LAUGHS] 129 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,420 Gayle, what's wrong? 130 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,131 -You love women-centered folk music. -l do. 131 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:14,803 I know. I just-- l wish we could go somewhere more fun, you know. 132 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,138 So, like, we could be more fun. 133 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,473 We're fun. 134 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,476 Tell me that our yearly Americana road trip isn't fun. 135 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,354 -Yeah, or at-home karaoke Fridays. -Yeah. 136 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,022 Or the Movie Numbers Game. 137 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,066 Hon, you love the Movie Numbers Game. 138 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,068 -l do love that game. JUDl: You go first. 139 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,114 -Name a movie, one to 1 0, go. -One Crazy Summer. 140 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,074 -Two of a Kind. -Three to Tango. 141 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,243 -Four Weddings and a Funeral. -Five Easy Pieces. 142 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,787 -Six Days and Seven Nights. -Ooh. A double. 143 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:44,499 -8 Mile. -The erotic Nine and a Half Weeks. 144 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,167 And 10. We did it. 145 00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,295 [ALL LAUGHING] 146 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:54,175 -See? We're pretty fun. -Yeah, we are. 147 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,971 Again, Vice President Lawrence Kenner has resigned. 148 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,516 The disgraced politician remains in an undisclosed location... 149 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,520 ...a day after he was caught in a motel room with two underage girls. 150 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,856 -He said he loved me. -You liar! 151 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,357 MAN [ON TV]: The presi-- 152 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:13,695 Whoo-hoo-hoo! I love me's a scandal. 153 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,283 Well, the president will be making his selection... 154 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,868 ...at the end of the week. 155 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,787 And guess who's at the top of his list. 156 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,873 That's right, Mama. 157 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,042 Mama's at the top of that list. 158 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:29,252 They're gonna want someone squeaky clean. 159 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,630 They'll comb through every part of your life. 160 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:36,134 I'm spotless. l already deported the maid, and my husband's impotent. 161 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,219 What about your daughter, Ashley? 162 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:41,640 But we were Lancelot and Guinevere of the medieval feast last year. 163 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,266 [SINGlNG] 164 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,018 Not now, Trevor. 165 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,229 Ashley, we want different things. 166 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,899 Since I got my braces off and that mole removed... 167 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,652 ...l realized it's time for me to move on. 168 00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:57,572 -None of the medieval freaks even work out. WOMAN 1 : Hey, Doug. 169 00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,575 Stop talking to that fugly face and get over here. 170 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,078 WOMAN 2: Support our spring break. -Buy a cookie. 171 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,874 All proceeds will support binge drinking, promiscuity and public nudity. 172 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,334 WOMAN 2: South Padre. 173 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,212 [SCREAMlNG] 174 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,255 It's senior spring, Ash. 175 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:17,759 They're trying to be your friend because your dad owns Six Flags. 176 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,427 Maybe so, but they're fun. 177 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,223 -And I wanna be with a girl who parties. -l can be that girl. 178 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,686 I can. I could be a right, fine saucy wench. 179 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,063 -l can be saucy. -Ashley. 180 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,232 You'll never be that girl. 181 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,236 Hey, Mason, wait up. 182 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,327 -What's so great about them? -Forget Doug, Ashley. 183 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:48,164 Let him and those frat gorillas go on their stupid spring break. 184 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,917 I hate his fake face. 185 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,711 [PHONE CHIMES] 186 00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,213 One second. 187 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,465 -Hey, Mama. -Hey, baby. 188 00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,301 What's up with my little rock star? 189 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,096 I think someone's got a spring break coming up. 190 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,306 Yeah, it's next week. 191 00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:07,267 Oh, no. 192 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,478 Where's your crazy sorority off to this year? 193 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,191 South Padre. 194 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,902 Where the Padre never stops. 195 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,114 Oh, baby, you are my pride and joy. 196 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,908 Now, you be good and make safe choices. 197 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,369 -Okay, bye. -Bye-bye, baby. 198 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,332 What? Don't want her to be disappointed. 199 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,002 She has this image about me. 200 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,796 You know, you've really gotta stop lying to her. 201 00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:41,176 You know what, miladies? You're right, the lying stops here. 202 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,178 I am going to South Padre. 203 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:46,014 I'm gonna prove to Douglas that inside this fair maiden... 204 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,349 ...lies the heart of a wanton trollop. 205 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,518 He's gonna want me back. 206 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:55,190 My baby girl is just like her mother was back in the day. 207 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,776 She's the most popular girl in her sorority... 208 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:01,988 ...smart as a whip and always up for a good time. 209 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,241 If the press catches her acting out, you're sunk. 210 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:10,413 -lt'll be Bush twins, the sequel. -lt's just spring break, y'all. 211 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,874 [ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG] 212 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,210 [WOMEN SCREAMlNG] 213 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,713 HARTMANN: Somebody impregnate me! 214 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,134 I guess we better send someone down... 215 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,970 ...to South Padre Island to keep an eye on that girl. 216 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:30,391 And l need someone who's responsible, but young enough to pass. 217 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,356 Betty. 218 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,234 -You're going to spring break, girl. -l am? 219 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,238 You're gonna stay on my daughter, Ashley, 24/7. 220 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,407 You'll keep her under the radar for the five days she's there. 221 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:50,036 Now, don't you tell her l sent you because we mostly trust each other. 222 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:51,746 I am so on it. 223 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,583 All right, girl, it's time for you to show me those huge hairy nuts you got... 224 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,585 ...hidden down there. 225 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,279 [SOFT MUSlC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 226 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,448 Pappy, Pappy. 227 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,704 Hello? Sweetheart. 228 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,748 The invites came in. They look really good. 229 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:38,293 -You've gotta see. They look-- -Ooh! 230 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,046 Will-- William? Juan Carlos? 231 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,257 I'm sorry. 232 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,430 -l thought you were teaching a class. -Yeah, class canceled. 233 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:55,810 William, are you sure that we have no secrets? 234 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,438 -Okay, the truth? -Yeah. 235 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:01,816 I'm not liking your "implicaish," okay? You don't trust me? 236 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,236 -Then l'm really "sorr," but wedding off. -You're breaking up with me? 237 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,739 Leave me alone! You're giving me a nervy break-D. 238 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,073 What--? 239 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,325 [SOBBlNG] 240 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,327 I mean, do you really think he's gay? 241 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:16,539 I mean, it's not like every straight guy is into football, right? 242 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,207 I mean-- 243 00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,918 I don't know, maybe it's me. 244 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,586 Maybe if l only had-- 245 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:23,421 A penis? 246 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,844 I just wanna be married. 247 00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,765 Judi, forget about him, okay? 248 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,309 We're going on vacation. 249 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,645 I can't go with you guys. 250 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,356 -What? -What? 251 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,109 Today the senator handpicked me for an important mission. 252 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:50,198 She's sending me on a spring break to watch over her daughter, a wild child... 253 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:54,035 ...and to possibly transform her into being a better human being. 254 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,289 -Did you just say "spring break"? -l know, it's crazy, right? 255 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,542 Wow, you get to do college all over again? 256 00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:04,212 -You're really lucky. -lt's a real opportunity. 257 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,549 Do you guys remember college? 258 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,637 BECKY [CHANTlNG]: No more blood for oil. We must stop this unjust war. 259 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,515 No more blood for oil. We must-- 260 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,562 Hey. Hold on one second. 261 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,732 JUDl: No, no, no. No. 262 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:32,824 Bigtime congrats to the following new Kappa Mu Delta sisters. 263 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,411 So when you hear your name, come on up and join us. 264 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,497 Marcy. Ayala. 265 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,833 Jo Lynn. 266 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,418 Laurie. 267 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,421 And Claire. 268 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,423 Everyone else, thank you. 269 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:54,971 Ew. 270 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,851 College was rough. 271 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,104 It was a learning experience. 272 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,442 I wanna go with you, Becky. 273 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,694 -Where? -To spring break. 274 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,112 You do? 275 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,240 Let's go. We never went to spring break in college. 276 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,951 I'll trade in my first-class tickets for three coaches. 277 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,454 -And I have a suite at the Four Seasons. -Yeah. 278 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:23,207 -l've never stayed at a Four Seasons. -This is the kind of vacation we need. 279 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,793 -We do need to shake things up a little bit. -Wait. 280 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,628 What would Honey want us to do? 281 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,422 Hey, Becky. 282 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,799 You really need to bury that cat. 283 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,334 [WOMAN SCREAMS] 284 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,463 Get it together. 285 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,006 [GLASS SHATTERlNG] 286 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,674 MAN 1 : That's what l'm talking about! 287 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,177 MAN 2: Let's have sex. 288 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,637 This is terrific. 289 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,180 It's repulsive. 290 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,102 BECKY: "The 4 Seasones"? 291 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:27,230 We're gonna get date-raped in there. 292 00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:29,982 -You think? -Judi. 293 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:33,945 Yeah. 294 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,323 Yoo-hoo, ladies, over here. 295 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,367 Howdy, girls. Yoo-hoo. 296 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,869 Hold up one sec. Mama needs her meds. 297 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,830 You know how it is. Mm. Mm-mm. 298 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,167 Welcome to The 4 Seasones. 299 00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:49,377 My name is Charlene. 300 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,629 This here is my 1 8th spring break. 301 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,882 Y'all, my hot ass ain't even half done with the party. Whoo! 302 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,885 Okay. 303 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,096 Checking in. 304 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,056 Becky St. Germaine. 305 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,560 That's right. I got y'all in a suite on the third floor. 306 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,145 Bathroom's in the hall. 307 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,231 -Wait. One bathroom for the entire floor? -l'm out of here. 308 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:16,404 And listen, if l ever catch any of y'all doing the nasty, y'all know this. 309 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,865 I may just join in. What? 310 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,993 Oh, shit. All right, all right. Y'all get. 311 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,578 Y'all get and party. 312 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:26,873 Get the party started, girls. Whoo! 313 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,055 This place is dog balls. 314 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,392 BECKY: It has a lot of character. -l kind of smell pee. 315 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,936 This is a suite? 316 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,689 Let me just grab this towel to wipe-- 317 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:53,482 Ew. 318 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:59,405 Judi, the bedspread is the filthiest part of the entire room. 319 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:03,117 Oh, that's right, that's right. I heard that on 20/20. 320 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,078 Oh, no. 321 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:11,042 Okay. Becky, what's your plan? 322 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,377 Okay, yeah. 323 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,131 This is Ashley. 324 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,966 We find her, we bond. 325 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,595 We insinuate ourselves into her clique and then we all become best friends. 326 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,472 -Great. -That's-- That's your plan? 327 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:25,806 Yes, it is. 328 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,808 According to my lnternet research... 329 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:31,896 ...this club, Chuggers, is the Studio 54 of South Padre. 330 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,315 GAYLE: We're never gonna get in there. -Yoo-hoo. 331 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,192 -Hi, hi, hi. BECKY: Charlene. 332 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,819 -Hey, Charlene. Can you get us in? -Hey. Hey, hey. 333 00:20:38,987 --> 00:20:42,156 Y'all, l didn't bone that bouncer 46 times for nothing. 334 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,368 [HlP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 335 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,508 Let's get Coyote Ugly, y'all. 336 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,427 -Yeah. -Oh, hey, hey! 337 00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,013 Hey. I don't like being picked up. 338 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:08,516 Put me down. Right here. Becky. 339 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,643 Judi! Gayle! 340 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,353 I need to find my friends. 341 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,814 Tequila. Doubles. 342 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:18,609 Oh, what white wines do you have by the glass? 343 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,529 Hey, Miss Fancy Pants, this ain't the Red Lobster. 344 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,948 Whoo. Here we go. 345 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,367 Hey, I don't touch the hard. 346 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,536 Just drink the damn thing. 347 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:34,875 How do you drink this? 348 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:38,087 Honey, l'd drink gasoline if you put a lime in it. 349 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:41,382 -Another round. -Have you seen this--? 350 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,720 WOMAN 1 : No means no. MAN: Come on, baby. 351 00:21:46,054 --> 00:21:47,305 MAN 2: Come on. -No touching. 352 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,056 -Just looking. MAN 2: Come on. 353 00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:51,892 Down, boys. No, drop it. 354 00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,394 Up, up. 355 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,563 Here we go. Up, up, up. 356 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,732 Look, look. You want a glowstick? 357 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,234 Go get it. Go get it. 358 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,988 That was incredible. 359 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,032 Men are just dogs with thumbs. 360 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:08,242 Sit down. 361 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,792 What's your name? 362 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,920 -Gayle. -l'm Mason and we're the Sevens. 363 00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:24,091 Seven hot chicks in seven pairs of Seven cutoffjeans. 364 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,052 Ain't nobody fiercer than us. 365 00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:29,013 -My mama thinks I should be a model. -Yeah. 366 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:32,850 I look good in real life, but in pictures l look even better. 367 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,811 WOMAN 2: Flawless. -Don't you love my hair? 368 00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:37,938 Super fierce. 369 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,328 I'm so sorry, Gayle. l love you. 370 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,121 I love you. 371 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,500 -Gayle! MASON: l got a lot of dreams. 372 00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:01,128 I'm gonna get this ass on Road Rules, climb Mt. Everett... 373 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:05,716 ...and start a charity to give spray tans to the homeless. 374 00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:08,636 -You wanna dance? -No. 375 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,640 Yes. Yes, l do. 376 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:23,275 You know what safe sex is? 377 00:23:23,443 --> 00:23:26,862 Dating men who are gay. 378 00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,826 But l'm ready to make up for lost time. 379 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,302 You are so sexy. 380 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:51,846 I know. 381 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,807 Hey, can l join you guys? 382 00:23:54,975 --> 00:23:56,434 I'm game. 383 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:59,728 One-night stands, threesomes, fourgies. 384 00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:01,856 Hey, it's all good. 385 00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,275 Get over here, you dirty little slut. 386 00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,574 Sorry. Sorry. 387 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,784 LYDlA: Don't move. Don't move. 388 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,953 -Ashley. TRUVY: Hey, Ashley. 389 00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,456 -Ashley, come here. -What? Come here. 390 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,541 TRUVY: Ashley, don't move. LYDlA: You have to stay. 391 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:22,835 ASHLEY: Guys, come down here. 392 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,629 I had this girl all wrong. 393 00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:28,757 There's nothing ordinary about her. 394 00:24:28,925 --> 00:24:30,718 And if she'll say yes... 395 00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:34,597 ...l would love for her to be my new chief of staff. 396 00:24:34,764 --> 00:24:36,348 What do you say? 397 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:39,768 Hybrid cars for everyone. 398 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,565 Excuse me. Ashley, we have totally gotta get out of here. 399 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:47,234 -Truvy is having an asthma attack. -There he is. 400 00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:48,694 Ashley. 401 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,828 Find Judi. We gotta get out of here. 402 00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,080 -Hi, Becky. -No, we gotta get out of here. 403 00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:06,086 Surprise. 404 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,131 Ashley. 405 00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:11,842 -What are you doing here? -Getting jiggy. 406 00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:15,054 I'm about to puke and, like, not on purpose. 407 00:25:15,388 --> 00:25:17,097 Why don't you just leave me alone? 408 00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:20,267 Because I ain't nice. 409 00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:28,776 That girl has been torturing me since freshman year. 410 00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:32,780 -The worst roommate matchup ever. -l have a moist towelette. 411 00:25:33,156 --> 00:25:35,449 -Thank you. -Are you okay? 412 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,743 Her ex-boyfriend has lost his mind. 413 00:25:37,911 --> 00:25:40,913 You know what? lf Doug wants trash, I'm gonna give him trash. 414 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,414 What does that mean exactly? 415 00:25:42,582 --> 00:25:45,918 It means tomorrow we're going to the beach to act like total idiots. 416 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,670 I'm sorry, who are you? 417 00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:50,464 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 418 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,966 I'm a college student. 419 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,636 A grad student, and you? 420 00:25:56,304 --> 00:25:59,431 -Lydia, Truvy and Ashley. JUDl: Whoo! Whoo! 421 00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:01,267 I'm gonna be a slut. 422 00:26:01,434 --> 00:26:04,103 -A slut. l'm gonna be a slut. -Becky. 423 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:07,064 You guys horny too? Who's horny? You? 424 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:08,774 I hate it here, Ashley. 425 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,234 Oh, that's Ashley. 426 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,986 Take me home, l need to barf. 427 00:26:12,153 --> 00:26:13,696 -l need to barf. -Okay. 428 00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,823 -Whose shoe is this? GAYLE: It's your shoe, Judi. 429 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,783 JUDl: That's bullshit. -All right. 430 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,410 JUDl: Who wants to do me? 431 00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,293 BECKY: Hey, you guys. 432 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:29,670 The special today is huevos rancheros. 433 00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,547 Yum. 434 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:34,174 -Just coffee for me. Thank you. JUDl: Yeah, me too. 435 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,176 Oh, Judi, are you okay? 436 00:26:36,344 --> 00:26:40,472 Well, it's just huevos rancheros always reminds me of William. 437 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,851 Because he went down on that Hispanic guy? 438 00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:47,271 No, because it was our Sunday tradition. 439 00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,232 All right. Judi, you're here to forget about him. 440 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,151 Maybe you should eat something. 441 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:55,863 No, thanks. The thought of food makes me wanna seriously chunder. 442 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:59,366 -Chunder? -Oh, yeah, it means to vomit. 443 00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:02,202 This place is opening up a whole new world for me. 444 00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:03,495 You know what l learned? 445 00:27:03,663 --> 00:27:07,541 That the roll of fat that hangs over the jean is called a muffin top. 446 00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:12,463 Our trips are not only fun but educational. 447 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:15,215 Are we excited about going to the beach today? 448 00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:17,676 That sounds perfect. l just wanna relax. 449 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,638 I just wanna stretch out with a good book, you know? 450 00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,560 [PEOPLE YELLlNG INDlSTlNCTLY] 451 00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:52,044 PEOPLE [CHANTlNG]: Go, go, go. 452 00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:59,259 Whoo! Keg stands, y'all. 453 00:27:59,427 --> 00:28:01,011 Judi, let me flip and tap you. 454 00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,055 -l don't understand. CHARLENE: Get over here. 455 00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:07,351 All's you gotta do is drink, but don't let it get up your nose... 456 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,560 ...because that hurts. 457 00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,104 -Let her rip. -Gayle. 458 00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:11,772 It's our protector. 459 00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:16,485 -Why are you dressed like that? -Oh, is it too revealing? 460 00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,946 -You look like my nana. -Thank you. 461 00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:20,155 Come with us. 462 00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,408 PEOPLE [CHANTlNG]: Chug, chug, chug. 463 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:25,536 I'm gonna go look for Ashley. 464 00:28:31,459 --> 00:28:32,751 I did it! Let's go again! 465 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,507 WOMAN: That's better. 466 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,134 Girl, welcome. 467 00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:43,470 Your abs ain't that bad, by the way. 468 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,140 Oh, my God, thank you. 469 00:28:49,185 --> 00:28:50,561 Why do you litter? 470 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,990 This place is so weird. 471 00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:09,955 Whoo! l wanna see some balls. 472 00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,623 What? 473 00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:21,091 MASON: A talent show. -Do you guys have any talents? 474 00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:23,927 -l can put my tongue in my nose. -l have no gag reflex. 475 00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:28,390 We are so gonna win this. 476 00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,852 Everyone knows you can't spell talent without T and A. 477 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,520 Okay, listen up. 478 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:36,273 The winner gets 1 50 drink tickets... 479 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:41,528 ...a group day of beauty at Texas Tan and 1 2 bottle-opener keychains. 480 00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:43,489 Oh, my God. 481 00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:44,865 That's the prize? 482 00:29:45,533 --> 00:29:47,201 Gayle, you be the coach. 483 00:29:47,368 --> 00:29:49,328 Oh, no, no, no. l just coach dogs. 484 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:51,497 And we're the Bad News Beyotches. 485 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:53,624 Check up on this. 486 00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:57,044 [DANCE MUSlC PLAYS OVER STEREO] 487 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,052 [BLOWS WHlSTLE] 488 00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:07,137 Here's what l want. Give me two lines. 489 00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,349 You-- Okay, Mason in front. Now, heads up. 490 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:13,393 Tails back, boobs out, stomachs in. 491 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:17,064 And give me four booty roundabouts in unison... 492 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,399 ...with extra butt-cheek vibration. 493 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,734 Go. 494 00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,576 Whoo! l love it. 495 00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:32,913 I love it a lot. Again. 496 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,706 Yeah! 497 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,719 -You. -Can l keep my T-shirt on? 498 00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:49,263 -Whatever. -Okay. 499 00:30:49,597 --> 00:30:51,473 Oh, God! 500 00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:57,187 -Two against one, that's not fair. -You're right. 501 00:30:58,606 --> 00:31:00,232 Yeah. 502 00:31:01,901 --> 00:31:03,735 I'm allergic to tomatoes. 503 00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:18,000 That girl's gone bonkers. 504 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,925 Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me through. 505 00:31:27,093 --> 00:31:28,802 Kill, kill, kill. 506 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:44,818 This is really degrading to women. 507 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,029 Really. 508 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:52,159 Why would anyone wanna wrestle in salsa? 509 00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:55,078 We're human beings, we're not tacos. 510 00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:01,001 Listen, l understand what you're feeling. 511 00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:03,337 I too have recently suffered a loss. 512 00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:06,506 -Your boyfriend dump you too? -No, my cat died. 513 00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:11,053 And l know that the language of letting go is not in that salsa. 514 00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:12,638 Right. 515 00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:15,182 -Body shots? BECKY: No. 516 00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,768 I'm talking about releasing the spirit of fun... 517 00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:20,520 ...without the display of public nudity. 518 00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:25,525 I'm talking about enjoying ourselves in a real and meaningful way. 519 00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:29,196 I'm talking about girls really going bonkers. 520 00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,365 I don't get it. 521 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:46,713 [CROWD GROANS] 522 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:51,218 Look at us all laughing. 523 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,477 See? We don't have to be like everyone else to have fun. 524 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:01,937 Everyone else? 525 00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:04,356 Burnouts, wastoids and sluts. 526 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:07,693 [SINGlNG "SlNCE U BEEN GONE"] 527 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,579 I freaking love you. 528 00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:23,291 No, I freaking love you. 529 00:33:23,459 --> 00:33:25,752 Hey, you guys, let's tell each other our secrets. 530 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,004 Yeah. 531 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,255 I can't read. 532 00:33:30,925 --> 00:33:34,052 I have sex with my uncle every Thanksgiving. 533 00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:41,601 You're gonna have to deal with that later. You're gonna have to deal with that later. 534 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,481 JUDl: Good night, ladies. 535 00:34:43,539 --> 00:34:48,043 Oh, my God. 536 00:35:20,868 --> 00:35:22,494 Total walk of shame. 537 00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:26,289 Yeah, you're damn right it's a walk of shame. 538 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:30,418 Because I just got me some, beyotch. 539 00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:39,678 -Where have you been? -Oh, Mason and l passed out on the beach. 540 00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:42,180 Ladies. 541 00:35:42,348 --> 00:35:43,765 Where have you been? 542 00:35:43,933 --> 00:35:45,809 I had sex... 543 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:49,604 ...with a straight guy. Yeah, you heard. 544 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:52,524 One, two, three, snap. 545 00:35:52,692 --> 00:35:54,693 Have you two gone cuckoo-bananas? 546 00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:59,072 Becky, please. Your voice is like daggers in my skull. 547 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:01,992 I was worried sick about the both-- 548 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,493 You had sex? 549 00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:07,873 Got freaky all night. 550 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,249 Tell us everything. 551 00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:12,836 Okay, well, l don't remember much, but I know it was amazing. 552 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:15,005 We had a really special connection. 553 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,506 You guys... 554 00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:19,759 ...l've never felt this way before. 555 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,054 GAYLE: What's his name? 556 00:36:23,931 --> 00:36:26,016 I don't know. 557 00:36:26,767 --> 00:36:30,395 I can't believe you had sex. 558 00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,647 Was it meaningful? 559 00:36:32,815 --> 00:36:34,774 Oh, you guys, he's really special. 560 00:36:34,942 --> 00:36:36,776 Oh, l can't wait for you to meet him. 561 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:38,778 This place is incredible. 562 00:36:38,946 --> 00:36:41,615 -l'm gonna throw up again. -Awesome. 563 00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,292 ASHLEY: And time. 564 00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:56,963 This is so not what I was expecting when l came to South Padre. 565 00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:59,549 If my mom saw this, she would totally freak. 566 00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:02,177 -Why? -Are you kidding me? 567 00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:05,931 My mom was Miss Texas, valedictorian. 568 00:37:06,098 --> 00:37:08,808 Now one of the most powerful women in Washington. 569 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,560 Ain't easy being me. 570 00:37:10,978 --> 00:37:12,729 She sounds like a real piece of work. 571 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,773 They call her "The Hatchet." 572 00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:16,274 I don't know who you're talking about. 573 00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:17,943 [PHONE RlNGING] 574 00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:21,655 Excuse me, I have to take this. It's an important call. 575 00:37:21,822 --> 00:37:23,615 Okay. 576 00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,036 -Hello. -Talk to me, Betty. 577 00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:31,539 Ow! Ming Ling, shit. 578 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:34,334 So my wild horse running you ragged? 579 00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:36,378 [IMITATING DOGS BARKlNG] 580 00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:39,339 -Oh, she's crazy, all right. -Don't screw this up. 581 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:41,508 Three more days to keep her safe... 582 00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:45,011 -...and we'll make history. -Oh, don't you worry, l'm so on it. l-- 583 00:37:45,179 --> 00:37:47,138 Hello? Hello? 584 00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:51,851 -Good morning, everybody. -Morning? It's 5 p.m. 585 00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:54,688 Well, it's morning somewheres. 586 00:37:55,481 --> 00:37:57,148 Gayle, what are you wearing? 587 00:37:57,566 --> 00:37:59,526 My boo loaned it to me. Slamming, huh? 588 00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:00,694 JUDl: What's going on here? 589 00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:03,154 It's a magazine-soda-pop- Chex-Mix-pool party. 590 00:38:03,322 --> 00:38:04,698 -Come join us. -Okay. 591 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:09,369 Y'all, we got a booze cruise in 1 0 and then the foam party. 592 00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,830 -You guys are going to a foam party? -Oh, yeah. 593 00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:15,125 They fill up a whole club with beer foam. It's like living in a keg. 594 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,002 Becky, you have to meet the Sevens. 595 00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,504 When you hang with them, you're hot by association. 596 00:38:19,672 --> 00:38:22,549 -You know the Sevens? -We're kind of like the Eights right now. 597 00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:25,802 -So, shorties, you coming with? -No way, Jose. 598 00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:31,099 -Sorry, Judi. -His name was Juan Carlos. 599 00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,935 You think maybe I can go with you? 600 00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:37,397 -l have no problem with that. -Don't you have to be on the list, Gayle? 601 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:40,233 And isn't that list closed? 602 00:38:42,069 --> 00:38:45,030 Yes, l believe that list is closed, Becky. 603 00:38:45,197 --> 00:38:48,742 Y'all, let's motor. This ass ain't getting any higher. 604 00:38:48,909 --> 00:38:50,243 Can l get a "what, what?" 605 00:38:50,411 --> 00:38:51,703 Later-hosen. 606 00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:55,915 [KAT DELUNA'S "RUN THE SHOW" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 607 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:08,428 Gayle, the Sevens and l have been talking. Four and Five think you're awesome. 608 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:12,390 Six and Seven think it'd be better if you were taller, and Two had no comment. 609 00:39:12,558 --> 00:39:14,100 I'm, like, really stupid. 610 00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:15,268 Oh, it's okay. 611 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:18,521 And l-- I think you are almost there. 612 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:20,940 Oh, my God. You guys. 613 00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:23,693 I can't feel my face. 614 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,614 [GLASS SHATTERS] 615 00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:30,950 Oh, my God, that's the guy from last night. 616 00:39:31,118 --> 00:39:33,828 That is some grade-A baloney pony. 617 00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:35,872 Go talk to him. 618 00:39:39,794 --> 00:39:41,795 See, l told you we'd get in. 619 00:39:41,962 --> 00:39:44,464 Doug's gotta be in here somewhere. 620 00:39:45,007 --> 00:39:46,132 [LYDlA SCREAMS] 621 00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:49,594 Lydia? Lydia! 622 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:53,264 Lydia! 623 00:39:58,104 --> 00:40:01,064 Hey. 624 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,322 -What's up? -Nothing. 625 00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:11,825 We cool? 626 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,246 Yeah, yeah. 627 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:18,832 Hey.... 628 00:40:20,292 --> 00:40:21,835 Thank you. 629 00:40:47,486 --> 00:40:48,945 Hi. 630 00:40:57,037 --> 00:40:59,539 All right, maestro. Let's get this party started. 631 00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:01,124 What's up, suckers? 632 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:06,004 My name is Gayle and l'm the party master. Woo, woo. 633 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,214 Do you guys like line dancing? 634 00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:09,466 No. 635 00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:12,552 -Yeah. -Yeah, that's my girls. 636 00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:14,512 We're gonna get it going tonight. 637 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,725 We're gonna blow your mother-humping mind with a thing called electric slide. 638 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:20,727 Maestro. 639 00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:23,897 [THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "ELECTRIC BOOGIE" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 640 00:41:24,857 --> 00:41:26,900 Whoo! 641 00:41:27,067 --> 00:41:29,319 That's right. Get it going. 642 00:41:32,031 --> 00:41:33,156 Yeah. 643 00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,201 All right. You guys aren't feeling it, huh? 644 00:41:36,368 --> 00:41:37,410 Here's some incentive. 645 00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:39,871 How about you come up and do the electric slide... 646 00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:41,664 ...to get your free keychain. 647 00:41:44,084 --> 00:41:45,585 Give me those damn keychains. 648 00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,046 Oh, they really like keychains. 649 00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:05,730 Hey. 650 00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:11,945 Spring break forever! 651 00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:18,660 I'm flying. 652 00:42:18,827 --> 00:42:20,370 Go, go, go. 653 00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:25,458 Girl, you're a Team Seven now. 654 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,294 I'm 35 years old. 655 00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:33,049 I'm flying. 656 00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,612 Chug, chug. Chug, chug. 657 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,824 -What time is it? -Almost dinner. 658 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,998 I must have blacked out again. 659 00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:06,499 Me too. 660 00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:09,252 You guys have been drunk for three straight days. 661 00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:11,296 Oh, girl, don't hate. 662 00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:13,756 Stop talking like that. 663 00:43:13,924 --> 00:43:17,260 Becky, there's this party tonight, beer fountains. 664 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:21,180 It's like the Trevi in Rome but with beer. 665 00:43:21,348 --> 00:43:22,765 You're loaded, Judi. 666 00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:25,184 Roll with us. 667 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:26,811 What is going on here? 668 00:43:27,229 --> 00:43:29,022 I had sex with a stranger... 669 00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:31,608 ...and now we're falling in love. 670 00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:35,403 Yeah, and I mounted an Abercrombie model. 671 00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:38,031 He was 1 9 years old. 672 00:43:38,198 --> 00:43:39,490 We're different women here. 673 00:43:39,658 --> 00:43:41,826 -Yeah, so come with us. -Yes. 674 00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,621 Oh, wow, my tan is out of control. 675 00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:47,832 I have a job to do. 676 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,209 Your job is done. 677 00:43:50,377 --> 00:43:53,171 Yeah, Ashley's a nerdball. She ain't making no Page Six. 678 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,381 JUDl: You're missing your second chance. 679 00:43:55,549 --> 00:43:57,550 Becky, it's not the same without you. 680 00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:58,718 We're a trio. 681 00:43:58,886 --> 00:44:02,555 We're like the Three Musketeers or Wilson Phillips. 682 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,390 True that. 683 00:44:04,558 --> 00:44:07,769 We've been reborn, Becky. 684 00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:13,149 Holler back, girl. 685 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:49,477 Ashley. Come on, let us in. 686 00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:51,020 Forget about Doug. 687 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,231 She's been in there all day. 688 00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,274 Do you wanna play mahjong? 689 00:44:55,442 --> 00:44:58,069 -Yeah, that's a good idea. -Yeah, yeah. 690 00:45:00,739 --> 00:45:03,324 No, thank you, ladies. 691 00:45:03,492 --> 00:45:04,659 I'm out. 692 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,786 Hey, Mr. Man. 693 00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:11,290 Get me a shot of anything and whatever my little friend here wants too. 694 00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:12,750 Yeah, all right. 695 00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,919 Me likey when the lady buys. 696 00:45:15,087 --> 00:45:16,838 Well, you know.... 697 00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:19,215 [JUDI GASPS] 698 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,138 Down it, wench. 699 00:45:25,305 --> 00:45:27,140 You guys, this game is so boring. 700 00:45:27,307 --> 00:45:29,392 We've been playing it for, like, two hours. 701 00:45:29,768 --> 00:45:31,394 We don't know any other games. 702 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:34,313 I know a game. Let's play the Movie Numbers Game. 703 00:45:34,481 --> 00:45:38,067 It's super fun. You say the titles of movies that have numbers from one to 1 0. 704 00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:40,319 I'll start. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 705 00:45:40,487 --> 00:45:41,988 Two Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. 706 00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:44,282 -Numbers what to what? -One to 1 0. 707 00:45:44,450 --> 00:45:45,992 Hey, I threw up four times today. 708 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:48,995 -You know, that's very unhealthy. -So is being fat. 709 00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:52,206 Fat people are nice people, okay? 710 00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,667 People are fat for all different reasons. 711 00:45:54,835 --> 00:45:57,128 You have a slow metabolism or a thyroid problem... 712 00:45:57,296 --> 00:46:00,214 ...or you're an adult and your parents decide to get a divorce. 713 00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:04,469 And you find yourself in your grandma's laundry room eating brownie mix... 714 00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:05,803 ...and crying. 715 00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:08,514 What, are we all supposed to be the same? That's crazy. 716 00:46:08,682 --> 00:46:11,017 That's just crazy talk. 717 00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:15,104 Gayle. 718 00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:18,983 You are so wise. You are like a big sister. 719 00:46:19,902 --> 00:46:21,986 Yeah, we are starting to become like family. 720 00:46:22,154 --> 00:46:23,321 Absolutely. 721 00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:27,992 -Yeah. -Oh, and you're like the one we adopted. 722 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,077 Aw. 723 00:46:40,547 --> 00:46:43,341 You look just like my R.A. 724 00:46:43,884 --> 00:46:47,887 I haven't been touched by a man since Clinton was in office. 725 00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,270 Hey, I need to talk to you. 726 00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,523 Please, I just-- l need-- Just one second. 727 00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:03,236 Look, nothing was gonna happen with me and that guy over there. 728 00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:06,155 Yeah, you know, it's really none of my business. 729 00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:10,326 Don't be mad, please. You've gotta trust me. 730 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:14,080 I'm just trying to take a leak. 731 00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:15,915 Why are you being so cold? 732 00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:19,877 I don't even know you. 733 00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:24,173 Yeah? Well, l feel like I don't even know you anymore either. 734 00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:28,177 This is why I'm not a slut. I just don't have what it takes. 735 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:31,514 Because when I love, l love hard. 736 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:34,517 But you, you're just like every other guy here, right? 737 00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:38,312 Y'all just see me as some piece of ass! Well, guess what, homeboy... 738 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,524 ...l ain't your sex robot. 739 00:47:43,235 --> 00:47:44,944 Move it! 740 00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:51,242 Good Lord, look at that. That is pathetic. 741 00:47:51,410 --> 00:47:53,244 It's like putting lipstick on a turd. 742 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,581 Guys, l have a good idea. Let's make her over. 743 00:47:56,915 --> 00:47:59,333 You know, it'll be a fun project, like l was. 744 00:47:59,501 --> 00:48:01,961 Gayle, she is pure nasty. 745 00:48:02,129 --> 00:48:04,630 You, you were a diamond in the rough. 746 00:48:04,798 --> 00:48:06,632 She kind of is too. She's really smart. 747 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:10,428 And, you know, her mother might be vice president next week. 748 00:48:11,346 --> 00:48:13,431 She might be famous and be in magazines. 749 00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:16,976 Oh, my God. Let's make friends. 750 00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:18,936 She could get the Sevens in Us Weekly. 751 00:48:22,316 --> 00:48:25,651 -No, that wasn't why l told-- MASON: Yoo-hoo. Ash. You come here. 752 00:48:25,819 --> 00:48:28,446 Damn, girl, you clean up real nice. 753 00:48:28,614 --> 00:48:30,531 -Yeah, you really like this? -l do. 754 00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,326 -Okay. -Listen, honey, l am sorry. 755 00:48:33,493 --> 00:48:36,996 I have matured so much this past week. I am tired of being a jerk. 756 00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,957 You and me need a fresh start. Let me get you a drink. 757 00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:41,292 Hi. 758 00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,794 Hey, Ashley, let's go play a hot game of Scrabble. 759 00:48:43,962 --> 00:48:46,172 I am not liking you that much right now. 760 00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:47,924 Let's chug. 761 00:48:48,091 --> 00:48:49,592 [SCREAMlNG] 762 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:53,512 Spring break tears people apart. 763 00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:56,349 -What's she doing here? -Go get Becky. 764 00:48:56,558 --> 00:48:58,184 I said, are you guys ready? 765 00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:01,020 It's time for the wet T-shirt contest. 766 00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,356 Ladies, come on up. 767 00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:08,527 All right. 768 00:49:08,695 --> 00:49:09,695 Mason. Mason. 769 00:49:09,863 --> 00:49:12,198 You've gotta enter the wet T-shirt contest. 770 00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:13,658 Yeah. 771 00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:17,828 What--? What's--? What are--? What's going on here? 772 00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,789 I'm partying. 773 00:49:20,374 --> 00:49:23,542 -You don't party. -Nor should she. Yay! 774 00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,920 Dude, I am a total party girl. 775 00:49:26,088 --> 00:49:27,838 Somebody give me another drink. 776 00:49:28,006 --> 00:49:30,549 -Doug, get us another round. ASHLEY: Know what? Make that two. 777 00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:33,010 Let's Padre, people! 778 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,805 Ashley, I know you want him back. 779 00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:38,557 Believe me, l am nothing to him. 780 00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:42,061 You gotta jump-start that man. Give him what he wants. 781 00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:43,980 If you shake it, he will come. 782 00:49:44,147 --> 00:49:48,234 No. No, let's not shake anything. Whoo! 783 00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,319 It's wet T-shirt time. 784 00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:55,992 Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, wait. 785 00:49:56,159 --> 00:49:58,202 Remember your Women's Studies class. 786 00:49:58,370 --> 00:50:00,579 And you remember what team you're on. 787 00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:02,289 Girls, get your cameras. 788 00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:03,958 [WARRANT'S "CHERRY PlE" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 789 00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:05,543 JUDl: Hey. Hey. 790 00:50:06,294 --> 00:50:09,630 Ashley's been skanked by the Sevens. 791 00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:12,049 BECKY: Bye, l'll see you later. 792 00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:22,059 Ashley. 793 00:50:22,227 --> 00:50:25,396 Ashley. Ashley. Down, girl. 794 00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:29,900 Move. 795 00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,527 What's happening? 796 00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:34,238 They found out her mother might be famous. 797 00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:35,614 -Who told her? -l did. 798 00:50:35,782 --> 00:50:38,117 We tell each other everything, that's how it works. 799 00:50:38,285 --> 00:50:39,577 -Gayle. DOUG: Ashley! 800 00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:41,746 That's my girl. 801 00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:03,267 Ashley, you don't have to do this. 802 00:51:03,435 --> 00:51:04,769 You're not a Mason. 803 00:51:04,936 --> 00:51:06,812 I am now. 804 00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:09,148 What would the senator say? 805 00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:13,319 -The senator? -Yeah, your mother. 806 00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:15,321 My mother? 807 00:51:16,114 --> 00:51:18,032 Your brother. 808 00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:21,118 -She sent you, didn't she?! -No, no, I-- 809 00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:25,164 I should have known those wrinkles weren't from the sun! 810 00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:31,003 I thought we were friends! 811 00:51:42,557 --> 00:51:44,934 ASHLEY: Put me down. -l'm sorry, I had to do it. 812 00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:47,686 Judi, Gayle, l'm going to jail. 813 00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:49,188 ASHLEY: Hey, hey. Let go of me. 814 00:51:49,356 --> 00:51:50,773 [BECKY SlNGlNG "WE SHALL OVERCOME"] 815 00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,024 Hey, hey, hey, be strong. Be strong. 816 00:51:52,192 --> 00:51:54,360 ASHLEY: Stop singing that song. 817 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,446 Oh, does this mean we have to leave? 818 00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:59,115 Come on. 819 00:51:59,658 --> 00:52:01,617 I don't know. 820 00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,702 Oh, my God. Is she dead? 821 00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,705 GAYLE: Okay, l'll deal with this. You go to jail. 822 00:52:07,207 --> 00:52:10,334 This would not be happening at the Wimmin's Music Festival. 823 00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,378 Hi. 824 00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:15,714 Come on, old gal, here we go. All right. 825 00:52:15,882 --> 00:52:19,343 Christina Aguilera, what are you doing here? 826 00:52:24,057 --> 00:52:26,183 I hate you, Becky. 827 00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:29,687 -l feel really bad. -l feel like ass. 828 00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,021 You smell like ass. 829 00:52:31,940 --> 00:52:33,482 I was just doing my job. 830 00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:35,067 I thought you were my friend. 831 00:52:36,278 --> 00:52:37,903 -l am your friend. ASHLEY: No, you're not. 832 00:52:38,071 --> 00:52:40,406 You're just a butt-sucking liar. 833 00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:43,325 That sound like Deion, don't it? 834 00:52:43,493 --> 00:52:45,077 You're the one lying to your mom. 835 00:52:45,245 --> 00:52:47,496 Mama-love knows no bounds, honey. 836 00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:49,915 God bless all the mamas. 837 00:52:50,917 --> 00:52:52,251 Look who's talking. 838 00:52:52,752 --> 00:52:54,753 You're the one trying to impress her. 839 00:52:54,921 --> 00:52:58,090 Let me guess. She told you to grow a pair of nuts. 840 00:52:58,258 --> 00:53:00,009 Oh, l hate that word. 841 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,011 WOMAN: Yeah, they're nasty. 842 00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:05,764 If you'd just-- 843 00:53:05,932 --> 00:53:07,933 If we all accept ourselves... 844 00:53:08,101 --> 00:53:10,561 ...the way that we are, we'll be so much happier. 845 00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:11,729 -Word. -Amen. 846 00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,272 Like you and your friends? 847 00:53:15,358 --> 00:53:19,403 I miss my babies. 848 00:53:19,571 --> 00:53:21,780 [SOBBlNG] 849 00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:25,701 [KNOCKlNG ON DOOR] 850 00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:35,044 First of all, this place is disgust. 851 00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:39,423 Second of all, what are you doing at spring break anyway? 852 00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:42,635 Catholic school G. l love. 853 00:53:43,845 --> 00:53:45,387 What are you doing here? 854 00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:48,641 I want a second chance. 855 00:53:48,808 --> 00:53:49,975 Come home. 856 00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:55,314 What about your massage? 857 00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,694 I love women. 858 00:54:00,862 --> 00:54:05,074 I love their hair, I love their smooth skin. 859 00:54:05,242 --> 00:54:07,993 I'm a huge fan of those. 860 00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:11,789 I really wanna believe that. 861 00:54:12,290 --> 00:54:13,999 Then do. 862 00:54:16,461 --> 00:54:19,255 Look, l need to go. I have to go bail Becky out ofjail. 863 00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:22,508 -You girls went craze, huh? -You don't even know. 864 00:54:23,551 --> 00:54:26,845 Jude, the firm dinner's this weekend. 865 00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,764 I could really use you by my side. 866 00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:32,768 -Why are you doing this to me? -Because people can't live alone forever. 867 00:54:32,936 --> 00:54:35,354 Judi, look. 868 00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:36,689 Let's have the wed. 869 00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:42,945 And then after, we'll have a really nice life "togeth." 870 00:54:45,490 --> 00:54:48,701 Every spring, this place, she flares up like a cold sore. 871 00:54:48,868 --> 00:54:50,661 And l'm back for more. You know... 872 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:55,374 ...the kids and the sex and the booze, you think it'll go on forever. 873 00:54:55,542 --> 00:55:01,171 But it's like one of them videos, you know, of a fireplace that you put on your TV. 874 00:55:01,339 --> 00:55:05,217 And, like, no matter how close you get to the screen... 875 00:55:05,385 --> 00:55:08,220 ...it's never gonna warm you up. 876 00:55:09,597 --> 00:55:13,809 I just wanted to be a stylist to the stars. 877 00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:16,437 -Oh, you still have time. -Do you think so? 878 00:55:16,604 --> 00:55:18,063 -Yeah. -You do? 879 00:55:18,231 --> 00:55:19,273 Yeah. 880 00:55:19,441 --> 00:55:21,442 Oh, hello there, fine fellow. 881 00:55:22,402 --> 00:55:24,653 -Who is this? -Oh, honey, that's a tree. 882 00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:27,531 My name is Charlene. 883 00:55:29,451 --> 00:55:32,202 What are you wearing? 884 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:35,706 -All right. -l love him. 885 00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,124 -Yeah. -Don't touch me. 886 00:55:37,292 --> 00:55:39,168 -Okay. -Please touch me. 887 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:40,502 -All right. -Thank you. 888 00:55:40,670 --> 00:55:42,379 Here we go. 889 00:55:42,839 --> 00:55:45,257 -Let's just stay here for a while. -You got it. 890 00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:46,550 -Okay, all right. -Okay. 891 00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:58,103 OFFlCER: All right, ladies, you can go. 892 00:55:59,272 --> 00:56:02,274 -Judi, thank God. -Thank you. 893 00:56:02,442 --> 00:56:04,651 You guys, we have a little bit of a problem. 894 00:56:04,819 --> 00:56:05,944 [CHATTERlNG] 895 00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:07,237 [CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING] 896 00:56:07,405 --> 00:56:08,447 MAN 1 : Over here, over here. 897 00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:13,077 MAN 2: Ashley. -All right, that's enough. 898 00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:15,496 -Give the lady some room. MAN 3: Can l get a comment? 899 00:56:15,663 --> 00:56:20,042 -There will be an official statement later. -That's the girl from the wet T-shirt contest. 900 00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:22,586 MAN 4: Right here, right here. -l am not a girl. 901 00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:24,630 I am a woman. 902 00:56:24,798 --> 00:56:26,632 -Now let us through. MAN 5: Ashley, over here. 903 00:56:27,092 --> 00:56:30,552 After several Long lsland iced teas, a strip show and a bar brawl... 904 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,430 ...Ashley Hartmann, daughter of Senator Kay Bee Hartmann... 905 00:56:33,598 --> 00:56:36,225 ...potential vice-presidential appointee, was arrested... 906 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:38,894 ...after spring-breaking on South Padre lsland. 907 00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:42,648 Ashley's troubles couldn't come at a more inopportune moment... 908 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:46,193 ...for the potential vice president, as the president is two days away... 909 00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:48,028 ...from announcing his selection. 910 00:56:48,196 --> 00:56:49,238 Motherf-- 911 00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:52,491 Ashley kept, like, chugging. And l was all like, "Stop." 912 00:56:52,659 --> 00:56:53,951 And she was all like, "No." 913 00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:56,578 And then all of a sudden, she just starts thrashing... 914 00:56:56,746 --> 00:57:00,749 ...on this real unattractive lady, and l'm, like, thinking: 915 00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:04,336 "Oh, my God. Drinking and public displays of sex... 916 00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:08,006 -...is, like, real bad for women." -Can we turn this off, please, somebody? 917 00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:10,426 Just turn it off. Thank you. 918 00:57:10,635 --> 00:57:12,803 [PHONE RlNGING] 919 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:19,351 [RlNGlNG STOPS] 920 00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:22,896 Let's pack it in and leave. 921 00:57:24,232 --> 00:57:26,692 What? No, l'm not going anywheres. 922 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:29,027 We got two days of partying left, right, Judi? 923 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,947 Actually, I need to go too. 924 00:57:32,365 --> 00:57:36,452 You guys, William and I reconciled. 925 00:57:36,619 --> 00:57:37,828 We are gonna get married. 926 00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:41,331 Sweetie, he's as gay as a goose. 927 00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,709 GAYLE: Mason says there's no such thing as gay men. 928 00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:47,045 -Just guys that haven't met her yet. BECKY: Enough with the Masons already. 929 00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:49,506 Oh, come on, don't be bagging on my girls. 930 00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:51,300 Hey, I thought we were your girls. 931 00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,093 Yeah. No, you are. 932 00:57:53,261 --> 00:57:56,722 Just the Sevens asked me to perform with them in the talent show... 933 00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:59,141 ...so l think I'm finally gonna win. 934 00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,143 I think your cornrows are too tight. 935 00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,770 How can you think about getting on a stage without us? 936 00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:05,772 Maybe you didn't hear me. I want to win. 937 00:58:05,940 --> 00:58:08,734 You haven't gotten sun here, you've gotten sun-damaged. 938 00:58:09,861 --> 00:58:11,904 Jiffy Pop. 939 00:58:12,071 --> 00:58:13,155 Ouch. 940 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,742 You guys, focus. I just said l'm getting married. 941 00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:19,244 Now, why can't you two just be happy for me? 942 00:58:19,412 --> 00:58:22,080 -Judi, he's a gay. -Judi, he's a gay. 943 00:58:22,457 --> 00:58:24,082 Let this be a lesson to you girls. 944 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:27,961 Never base your self-esteem on the validation from men. 945 00:58:28,129 --> 00:58:29,922 Or women. 946 00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:32,049 I might have low self-esteem... 947 00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:34,843 ...but at least I'm not rocking the gaucho pants. 948 00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:37,596 Honey gave me these pants. 949 00:58:37,764 --> 00:58:39,848 -For my 30th birthday. -You know what, Becky? 950 00:58:40,016 --> 00:58:43,977 She didn't give you those pants. Know why? Because cats can't give gifts, okay? 951 00:58:44,145 --> 00:58:45,812 Judi, tell her. She's delusional. 952 00:58:45,980 --> 00:58:48,857 Tell her, Judi. We can't spend every night playing Pictionary. 953 00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:50,067 You bought that game. 954 00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:53,111 -She bought that game. -Give me a break. Judi, pick a side. 955 00:58:53,279 --> 00:58:56,156 -Pick a side. -Pick a side. 956 00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:58,534 You guys, l don't need to pick a side... 957 00:58:58,785 --> 00:59:01,078 ...because I am getting married. 958 00:59:01,996 --> 00:59:05,624 And it will be a small, private affair. 959 00:59:05,792 --> 00:59:08,460 I'll be at the Hilton with my fiance. 960 00:59:08,795 --> 00:59:10,379 [CLATTERlNG] 961 00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:13,257 You hear that? That's the sound of the party train. 962 00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:16,593 And this gal's gonna be on it. So peace. 963 00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:21,932 I'm sorry you had to see that. 964 00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:25,435 Let's get the hell out of here. 965 00:59:28,898 --> 00:59:30,899 Ashley, aren't you coming? 966 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,153 No. 967 00:59:35,697 --> 00:59:37,197 What? 968 00:59:40,285 --> 00:59:44,371 Are we really gonna let those Seven bitches run us out of town? 969 00:59:44,622 --> 00:59:46,498 They're kind of the Eights now. 970 00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,542 I wanna enter in that talent show. 971 00:59:48,876 --> 00:59:53,088 I heard that sentence in college once. It ruined my life. 972 00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:54,798 ASHLEY: Becky. 973 00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:56,675 Aren't you tired of being a doormat? 974 00:59:57,010 --> 01:00:00,637 Letting the Masons of the world just win all the time? 975 01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:04,891 This isn't just a talent show. This is war. 976 01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:11,023 Becky, you are not a cautionary tale. 977 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,442 She's right. 978 01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:17,279 Let's take back the beach. 979 01:00:26,164 --> 01:00:28,165 -Charlene. -Oh, hi. 980 01:00:28,333 --> 01:00:30,459 We're starting a band. 981 01:00:30,627 --> 01:00:32,753 And l need your help. 982 01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,921 You need me? 983 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,444 Yeah, hey. 984 01:00:57,612 --> 01:01:01,073 Stop. You know what? That viola cannot handle the melody. 985 01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:02,991 We need someone on keyboards. 986 01:01:03,159 --> 01:01:06,870 My cousin Lavonne plays the piano down at the church. We could give her a call. 987 01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:10,582 Oh, but she's such an alcoholic. Yeah, it's so sad. 988 01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:14,836 Ashley. 989 01:01:15,004 --> 01:01:18,674 Oh, my God. Everybody's talking about you like you're some big star. 990 01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:22,052 I've decided to take you back. 991 01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:25,097 -Oh, gosh, really? -Really. 992 01:01:26,140 --> 01:01:27,766 You're the only girl for me. 993 01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:29,434 Oh, Douglas. 994 01:01:31,479 --> 01:01:32,938 Your mole's growing back. 995 01:02:07,432 --> 01:02:08,473 [FARTS] 996 01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:10,392 GAYLE: Ugh. 997 01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:20,068 On the left. All right, good. 998 01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:23,572 WOMAN: Got that. 999 01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:28,744 MAN: Welcome to the 37th Annual All-Girl Talent Show. 1000 01:02:28,911 --> 01:02:31,329 I'm Dan, and you're about to see a lot of naughty. 1001 01:02:31,497 --> 01:02:33,999 But first, let's say hello to our judges. 1002 01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:36,543 Christopher Knight, Bruce Vilanch and La La. 1003 01:02:36,711 --> 01:02:39,254 Ladies, five minutes to get to that table and register. 1004 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:41,840 So let's make that happen. Get it on! l'm Dan. 1005 01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:45,677 Are we too late to sign up for the talent show? 1006 01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:47,387 -Just made it. -Drink it. 1007 01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:50,724 Lavonne, drink it. You have got to focus on the music. 1008 01:02:51,100 --> 01:02:54,603 Dear God, thank you for making us sexy. 1009 01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,189 We love you. Jesus is the best. 1010 01:02:57,648 --> 01:02:59,191 And God bless our troops... 1011 01:02:59,358 --> 01:03:03,487 ...the unborn, and all Sevens for all mankind. 1012 01:03:03,654 --> 01:03:07,032 -Amen. -Praise him. 1013 01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,618 It's so weird you guys are religious. 1014 01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,369 BECKY: Gayle. 1015 01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,707 On the outside, l see you've changed. 1016 01:03:17,001 --> 01:03:18,043 How are you? 1017 01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:20,629 -Get away from us. -Good luck, Gayle. 1018 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:21,838 [HORN BLOWS] 1019 01:03:22,006 --> 01:03:23,840 Let the show begin. 1020 01:03:24,008 --> 01:03:27,511 Our first contestants come straight from the Pan-Asia Club of Florida State. 1021 01:03:27,887 --> 01:03:31,223 The Hoochie Minh. 1022 01:03:31,933 --> 01:03:34,559 [GERARD MARINO'S "KUNG FU WlSDOM 2" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 1023 01:03:40,775 --> 01:03:43,485 [THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "PUMP YOUR FIST" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 1024 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:55,580 And for the flight, l brought a copy of-- Wait for it. 1025 01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:58,208 --Steel Magnoles. 1026 01:03:58,376 --> 01:04:00,877 Oh. Yay. 1027 01:04:01,045 --> 01:04:02,170 You look good, Jude. 1028 01:04:03,089 --> 01:04:04,464 Really pretty. 1029 01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:07,050 -You think? -Yes. 1030 01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,719 -Hey. -Yes? 1031 01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:13,139 Let's go over to that bathroom over there and do it. 1032 01:04:13,307 --> 01:04:14,933 Jude, you just went. 1033 01:04:15,101 --> 01:04:17,561 No, I mean do it, like throw me up against a wall... 1034 01:04:17,728 --> 01:04:19,604 ...and call me your dirty little slut. 1035 01:04:20,147 --> 01:04:21,231 You're talking craze. 1036 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:26,111 -We have a problem, William. -What's that, Baby G? 1037 01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:28,947 We don't have sex ever. 1038 01:04:35,454 --> 01:04:37,122 Are you thirsty? 1039 01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,374 Because I am thirsty. 1040 01:04:41,919 --> 01:04:43,211 -l can't do this. -What? 1041 01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:44,754 I can't go back with you. 1042 01:04:44,922 --> 01:04:46,464 -Come again? -l can't marry you. 1043 01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:47,883 One more time. 1044 01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:50,510 How can l make you understand? 1045 01:04:50,803 --> 01:04:53,513 Okay, here's the "sitch," all right? 1046 01:04:53,681 --> 01:04:55,974 I'm at a real crucial "mome" in my life... 1047 01:04:56,142 --> 01:05:00,979 ...and l'm not just gonna settle for half a "relaish." 1048 01:05:01,147 --> 01:05:02,898 I've still got a "fuetch." 1049 01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:06,693 And, William, truth be T... 1050 01:05:06,986 --> 01:05:08,653 ...you're a total 'mo. 1051 01:05:32,511 --> 01:05:36,014 MEN [CHANTlNG]: Hoochie Minh. DAN: Give it up for the Hoochie Minh. 1052 01:05:36,182 --> 01:05:39,309 Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh, Hoochie Minh. 1053 01:06:14,345 --> 01:06:16,137 MAN: Take it off! 1054 01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:19,224 -We are so much hotter than that. -Mm-hm. 1055 01:06:19,392 --> 01:06:21,685 We're so gonna win this. 1056 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:24,562 Gayle, l'm putting you in the back row. 1057 01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,439 You're looking kind of bloated. 1058 01:06:26,607 --> 01:06:28,817 But l haven't eaten for two days. 1059 01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:31,736 Damn it, Gayle, you wanna win this thing or not? 1060 01:06:32,488 --> 01:06:34,406 Get this thing off me. 1061 01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:36,908 No! 1062 01:06:37,076 --> 01:06:38,910 WOMAN: Francois. 1063 01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:41,496 What is wrong with you? 1064 01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:44,249 Dogs are our friends. They love our insides. 1065 01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:46,584 God, freak out much? 1066 01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:48,753 Dogs are gross. 1067 01:06:49,588 --> 01:06:52,549 You know what? l don't belong here. 1068 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,217 Look at me, I look ridiculous. 1069 01:06:54,385 --> 01:06:55,719 I'm wearing a boa. 1070 01:06:55,886 --> 01:06:58,096 -Whose idea was this? -Yours. 1071 01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:01,599 Did I get caught up in the razzle-dazzle? Yes. 1072 01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:03,101 But you know what l learned? 1073 01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,978 These will get you here: 1074 01:07:05,146 --> 01:07:06,938 But this is gonna get you here: 1075 01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,107 And then this will get you way up here: 1076 01:07:09,275 --> 01:07:11,735 Then use this and this together, and you're up here: 1077 01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:14,446 And then you don't even care about these. 1078 01:07:15,364 --> 01:07:16,781 Are you talking about boobs? 1079 01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:20,118 Oh, God. You know, I chase girls like you my whole life. 1080 01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:22,537 And you know what? You're all a bunch of bullies. 1081 01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:25,040 And you know what happens to bullies? 1082 01:07:26,417 --> 01:07:29,502 They get whatever they want, but they don't get love. 1083 01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:30,879 Real love. 1084 01:07:31,047 --> 01:07:33,381 Mary J. Blige style. Here. 1085 01:07:34,467 --> 01:07:37,218 Why don't you take this? Use it as a thong. 1086 01:07:37,386 --> 01:07:38,928 Gayle. 1087 01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:41,639 -Eat this. GAYLE: Thank you. 1088 01:07:44,351 --> 01:07:47,479 This tastes so fucking good. 1089 01:07:48,481 --> 01:07:50,732 I am so tired of being hungry. 1090 01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:51,983 Let's go. 1091 01:07:52,151 --> 01:07:55,695 DAN: All right, people, give it up for the hottest chicks from the state of Texas. 1092 01:07:55,863 --> 01:07:57,614 The Sevens. 1093 01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:01,993 [THE DEEKOMPRESSORS' "NASTY" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 1094 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,980 I trained them well. 1095 01:08:31,148 --> 01:08:33,066 Move. Come on. 1096 01:08:33,234 --> 01:08:34,442 Get, get. 1097 01:08:47,373 --> 01:08:49,040 Let's beat it. 1098 01:08:56,674 --> 01:08:59,509 MAN 1 : Yeah. MAN 2: That's what I'm talking about. 1099 01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:03,054 MAN 3: Take it off. MAN 4: Go for it, baby. 1100 01:09:07,852 --> 01:09:09,185 Mason. 1101 01:09:09,353 --> 01:09:11,980 Lavonne. Lavonne, you gotta keep it together. 1102 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,107 Becky's Friendz, you're up next. 1103 01:09:14,275 --> 01:09:17,152 Becky's Friendz? That's the name of our group? 1104 01:09:17,319 --> 01:09:18,820 All right, that's it, Ashley. 1105 01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:20,864 Your spring break is over, girls. 1106 01:09:21,031 --> 01:09:22,073 Grab her, boys. 1107 01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:23,908 Senator, please. 1108 01:09:24,076 --> 01:09:25,743 Betty, Betty, Betty. 1109 01:09:25,911 --> 01:09:29,038 I think that you have done just about enough. 1110 01:09:29,206 --> 01:09:32,250 I never should have sent a weak-willed number cruncher. 1111 01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:35,211 God, I hate plain women, l really do. 1112 01:09:36,881 --> 01:09:38,381 You know what? 1113 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,593 "Hate" is a strong word. 1114 01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,469 And l am not plain. 1115 01:09:43,637 --> 01:09:45,305 I'm Becky St. Germaine. 1116 01:09:45,472 --> 01:09:47,348 And you know what else? 1117 01:09:48,809 --> 01:09:50,268 You can eat me, you cracker. 1118 01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,770 Who are you calling a cracker? 1119 01:09:53,564 --> 01:09:57,066 -Back it up! -Mama. Mama, please listen. 1120 01:09:59,361 --> 01:10:01,196 I'm not the daughter you thought l was. 1121 01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:03,198 I'm not popular. 1122 01:10:03,699 --> 01:10:07,202 I've never pole-danced and l didn't get into any sororities. 1123 01:10:07,369 --> 01:10:09,370 Not even the lesbian one. 1124 01:10:10,789 --> 01:10:13,124 These are my friends. 1125 01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:16,336 Mama, l'm plain. 1126 01:10:16,503 --> 01:10:19,005 There is nothing special about me. 1127 01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:21,591 Don't you ever say that again. 1128 01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:23,218 Hello? You're on. 1129 01:10:23,385 --> 01:10:25,303 We have to get out there, Ashley. 1130 01:10:25,971 --> 01:10:28,640 MAN 1 : Go, go, go. 1131 01:10:28,807 --> 01:10:31,726 Go, go, go. 1132 01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:33,603 Oh, baby. 1133 01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,939 All right, get your butt up on that stage. 1134 01:10:36,315 --> 01:10:38,233 But keep your top on, all right? 1135 01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,319 -Let's do it. -Chip off the old block, that one is. 1136 01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:45,365 Sevens are the team to beat. Let's see if the next group of girls has what it takes. 1137 01:10:45,532 --> 01:10:49,285 Ladies and gentlemen, holler out for Becky's Friendz. With a Z. 1138 01:10:49,703 --> 01:10:51,329 MAN 2: Yeah. 1139 01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,623 Thank you so much, everyone. 1140 01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:59,420 Y'all, Lavonne's done. I'm so sorry. 1141 01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:02,590 -Sorry, sorry. -Go home! 1142 01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:06,010 WOMAN: Forget about it. 1143 01:11:06,178 --> 01:11:07,512 MAN 3: Get off the stage! 1144 01:11:09,348 --> 01:11:10,974 Ladies. 1145 01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:13,142 Judi. 1146 01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:15,687 Let's do this. 1147 01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:19,190 Two, three, four. 1148 01:11:20,693 --> 01:11:24,153 [SINGlNG "HOLD ON"] 1149 01:13:28,153 --> 01:13:29,570 What? 1150 01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:34,659 MAN 4: You suck! 1151 01:13:37,996 --> 01:13:40,331 Hey. Hey, you know what, South Padre? 1152 01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:43,501 We don't care what you think because we're freaking awesome. 1153 01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:45,795 Yeah, so smoke on that, spring break. 1154 01:13:47,005 --> 01:13:49,006 WOMAN: What's the matter, y'all? 1155 01:13:49,675 --> 01:13:51,634 Hey, all you regular girls, give it up. 1156 01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,345 Clap, come on. Give it up. 1157 01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:56,222 Yeah. 1158 01:13:57,516 --> 01:13:59,183 ASHLEY: We're not going anywhere. 1159 01:13:59,351 --> 01:14:01,018 And just wait till next year. 1160 01:14:05,566 --> 01:14:09,110 And this is for Honey, my dead cat. 1161 01:14:10,195 --> 01:14:12,280 -Yeah! -Give it up. 1162 01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:17,785 CROWD [CHANTlNG]: Dead cat, dead cat, dead cat. 1163 01:14:17,953 --> 01:14:19,996 Dead cat, dead cat. 1164 01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:22,874 Way to go, girls. Way to-- 1165 01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:26,544 Becky. 1166 01:14:29,631 --> 01:14:31,090 Ladies and gentlemen... 1167 01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:34,051 ...the next vice president of the United States of America... 1168 01:14:34,219 --> 01:14:36,679 ...Senator Kay Bee Hartmann and her daughter, Ashley. 1169 01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:39,891 -We're gonna save the environment. -Can you tell us about--? 1170 01:14:40,058 --> 01:14:42,727 Mason here, Ashley's best friend. 1171 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:46,063 -l don't know her. -Get that girl out of the shot. 1172 01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:51,068 Come on, ladies. Let's go. 1173 01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,265 Please don't hurt me. 1174 01:15:21,433 --> 01:15:24,101 Don't say anything, just listen. 1175 01:15:25,437 --> 01:15:29,190 I want you to know that you've changed me. 1176 01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:34,403 And not a day will go by when I don't think about our time together. 1177 01:15:34,863 --> 01:15:38,658 But you're so young... 1178 01:15:38,825 --> 01:15:41,452 ...with so many dreams and years ahead of you. 1179 01:15:43,247 --> 01:15:46,541 It could never work between us, I know that now... 1180 01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:51,379 ...but always know that you're in my soul. 1181 01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:56,259 Wait. 1182 01:16:19,449 --> 01:16:21,158 Goodbye. 1183 01:16:53,984 --> 01:16:57,528 Oh, hey, you guys, let's take a picture so we'll always remember this trip. 1184 01:16:57,696 --> 01:17:00,072 -Charlene. -Okay. 1185 01:17:00,949 --> 01:17:03,367 Okay, all right. Get together, y'all, all right. 1186 01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:08,706 -Ready? One, two.... -Cheese. 1187 01:17:12,252 --> 01:17:16,213 Ashley will not be speaking at a fundamentalist college, no. 1188 01:17:16,381 --> 01:17:19,216 And also, we are focusing on the family and the environment... 1189 01:17:19,384 --> 01:17:22,386 ...so you can tell those anti-immigration dudes to shove it. 1190 01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:25,890 Oh, my God. I've only been on eHarmony for two weeks... 1191 01:17:26,058 --> 01:17:28,726 ...and l already have 23 coffees lined up. 1192 01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:32,229 -You go, girl. -Guys, are we making pizzas or what? 1193 01:17:32,397 --> 01:17:34,565 -Oh, yeah. -l gotta go. 1194 01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:38,402 -You got me the mini pepperonis again. BECKY: Put a smiley face on mine. 1195 01:17:38,570 --> 01:17:40,488 -That's really amazing. -l'll do that too. 1196 01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,531 GAYLE: Okay, guys, I got an idea. Movie Numbers. 1197 01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:45,117 Only Movie Numbers Extreme. 1198 01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:47,995 -Ooh! -One to 20. 1199 01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:51,248 JUDl: Okay, l'll start, l'll start. It Happened One Night. 1200 01:17:51,416 --> 01:17:53,042 -Basic lnstinct 2. -Nice. 1201 01:17:53,210 --> 01:17:55,795 -Three Men and a Little Lady. -l love Steve Guttenberg. 1202 01:17:55,962 --> 01:17:59,924 -l love Steve Guttenberg. -Okay. Fantastic Four. 1203 01:18:00,092 --> 01:18:01,509 -Nine to Five. -That's so good. 1204 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,844 That's three numbers, nine, two, five. Okay. 1205 01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:05,763 [ALL LAUGHING] 1206 01:18:57,232 --> 01:18:59,483 You're a pretty puppy. 1207 01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:06,115 This is really degrading to women. Really. 1208 01:19:13,790 --> 01:19:16,417 We're kind of like Laverne and Shirl. 1209 01:19:32,434 --> 01:19:34,268 I can't-- I can't-- 1210 01:19:34,436 --> 01:19:36,520 South Padre. 1211 01:19:39,858 --> 01:19:42,193 You know what this lawn chair reminds me of? 1212 01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:45,529 -What? -The time l had sex on a lawn chair. 1213 01:19:45,697 --> 01:19:47,406 What? 1214 01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:41,765 [ENGLISH SDH]